While some men boost how strong or sophisticated their sex life can be, it’s not a guarantee that they can be a woman’s ideal partner in the bedroom. Hearing stories from other men of how they feel to be an expert at sex isn’t enough to make yourself a sex expert too.
One secret to becoming a great sex partner is to know what women prefer during sex. When in the bedroom or in any place where sex seems possible, think not only of your own pleasure but of hers as well.
It’s a must that sex should be pleasurable for you both. But in most cases, this isn’t happening. Some women prefer to fake their orgasm for the sake of having ‘great’ sex or making their partner feel satisfied.
Even if some of these women keep to themselves what’s going on, they can be brutally honest to their peers how sex with a specific partner makes them feel. If you don’t want to be mocked silently by women, make sure you’re great in everything you do, especially in bed. The following tips from sex researcher Debra Herbenick will definitely boost your confidence in bed.
1. Ask first what your new partner wants
Be not like the guy next door who finds pleasure in ejaculating on his partner’s face, choking, or giving her dirty talk. While this may work for your buddy, it might not for you.
Women are created differently. They don’t have the same preferences. Instead of doing to your partner what you feel can work great for her, stay safe and ask. Or else, you’ll ruin a promising night together.
Ask your new partner what she wants and start from there. Better yet, start with gentleness. Most women respond more positively to partners who show more affection and romance. Men who strive to establish an emotional and mental connection look more appealing to women. Strive to be one when you can. Say sexy things. Opening your eyes during sex while looking down at her is also a sweet move for her.
2. Communication is key
Talk about sex. It may feel awkward at first, but you have to initiate a conversation to make things work. Begin by asking what she likes or how your touch makes her feel. It may also be possible she’s not aware how a gentle touch in her nether regions excites her. Help her explore that and make sure to know when something is a turnoff. This way things will flow smoothly. And it would be easier for both of you too, especially when you’re still knowing each other.
3. When feeling in a rut, focus on the emotion
When in a committed relationship, feeling in a rut can sometimes happen. Sex could become predictable. Doing it can become like a chore when it seems to be the only reason that keeps you connected.
When this happens, ask why you stay committed in the first place. The reason might be beyond the physical. When it is, strengthening your emotional bond might be what your relationship needs. Focus on the emotional and stay connected.
You can also do new things you haven’t done before or haven’t done for a long time. This can spark things up again. Opening up to another person is another option you can try. Just make sure this person has the best interest for both you and your partner.
4. Orgasm gap is real
While there’s quite a number of men who don’t care about orgasm being fake or not, it does matter to women. Some women are pushed to fake their orgasm because they feel they’re under pressure. If you do care about your partner’s sexual enjoyment, it’s best to open the orgasm gap issue about her. Ask her if she has this problem and how you can help.
The best time to talk about it is not in the bedroom but during your sweet moments, like when you’re on the couch. Tell her how you enjoy your sex, but you just feel she’s not having an orgasm. Suggest to her the things you need to do for her advantage. The point is to make her open up if ever she has issues about it.
The best moves to help her reach orgasm are giving her oral and touching specific parts of her body with the right strokes and pressures.
5. Be curious and creative
Curiosity and creativity are key. Not all women share the same thoughts on genital touching. Some like to be touched on their genitals while others want to be touched in other areas of their body with varying movements, rhythm, pace, and pressures.
When caressing your partner, be open and adventurous because what pleases the other might not be pleasurable for one.
6. Avoid going straight for the nipples
The nipples are the areas that sexually stimulate women. However, don’t go straight for them because the most sensitive parts are not in there but at the top of them.
Yes, you read it right. The top of the breast is the most sensitive part. Give it a gentle caress. Then go to the bottom, the areola, and lastly the nipples. This may surprise your partner and give you more pleasure than expected.
7. Ask her before giving clitoral stimulation
Not all women want to be touched in their clitoris. Some women prefer clitoral stimulation because they say it’s helpful to reach orgasm. Others don’t require it, though it helps, while a few never want fingers to be touching their clitoris.
If she takes your hand away when you’re almost there, it’s a warning sign she wants you to avoid it. It’s then you could gently ask what part she loves to be touched.
No two people have the same likes, dislikes or preferences. What works with your previous partner may not work for the new one. Be open and explore. Take your sexual encounter as an adventure, which has endless possibilities.
As long as the two of you are open to exploring each other’s bodies, you never can tell when tweaking a stroke is the only ingredient you need to do to reach to the climax you both can fully enjoy and long for.