Eating weed, instead of smoking it, can be cool. However, when it comes to seeing pictures float in midair and watching the walls melt around you, eating weed is no longer as cool as you’d think.
Okay, so maybe that was a little dramatic, but it is true. If you eat too much weed, you can start to see abnormal things and you can start to feel all weird and uncomfortable. There’s a science to it; You have to know how much you can handle on a given basis. This pertains to potheads and to those who don’t smoke all the time.
So, I’ve done the research, and I’ve come up with a guide that you can personally use when you’re trying to figure out how much weed to eat. This guide will balance the amount of weed you eat with the high you’d like to feel, so that way you don’t have too little or too much weed in your system. Keep in mind, it’s always better to not be high enough than to be so high you can’t function normally.
And, here goes! I’m going to give you a lot of “What If’s,” so to speak, and you’ll choose your personal “What If” answer. Beside each answer is a point scale system. By the end of the “What If’s,” you’ll add up your points and that will determine how much THC you should ingest this time. You’ll have to do it each time, because one time will never be exactly the same as the next time. May the questions ensue.
How hungry are you right at this moment?
- You need a cheeseburger right now. You can’t wait much longer, but you don’t want one that’s overly massive, just a $1 menu one. Add 0 to your total.
- You could go for something that has a lot of nutrients, like a green juice. One that has the calories, but not all that extra sugar and unnecessary crap. Add 1 to your total.
- Your stomach is very bloated due to your overeating habits. Your lunch or dinner was too much, and you feel as if you could be on the couch for the remainder of the day. Add 3 to your total.
When you’re hungry, on average, how many slices of pizza can you eat?
- One slice of vegetable pizza? Do you want to eat some, but don’t want a lot of calories and/or fat on your pizza? Add 1 to your total.
- Three slices of any kind of pizza? You could even go for some additional leftover crust, too. Add 3 to your total.
- An entire pizza? Are you likely to eat an entire pizza, plus some, depending on your hunger level? Add 5 to your total.
Where will you eat the edibles?
Believe it or not, where you eat the edibles, and who you eat the edibles with, are extremely important factors in the equation. So, are you going…
- To a family party with your girlfriend where you want to laugh at the kids? You know, instead of making them cry? Add 1 to your total.
- On a very sexy date with your lady? You know, where you want to have a good time and not be uptight at all throughout the night? Add 3 to your total.
- Away to a huge outdoor, 3-day concert in the middle of nowhere? You know, the ones where drugs of all sorts are highly welcomed? Add 5 to your total.
How often do you smoke, or eat, weed of any sort? In other words, how often do you get high?
Do you get high like…
- You’re a cop? In other words, do you smoke marijuana once every blue moon, considering you aren’t that big a fan of the stuff? Add 1 to your total.
- Once in a while? Instead of once in a blue moon, do you get high once in a while? You know, like every few weeks? You don’t see anything wrong with it but you don’t see anything necessary about it, either. You basically do it for the social (or nonsocial) aspect. Add 2 to your total.
- Almost every week? You know, before you get the cartoons out like Bob’s Burgers. Add 5 to your total.
- Every single day? Like, once you get home from work, that’s the first thing you do. Add 7 to your total.
- Wake and bake high? Like, marijuana is your life, and you couldn’t really live without it. Add 10 to your total.
Now, it’s time to calculate your score and see how much you should eat. Remember, everyone’s total will not be the same, so don’t go off of someone else’s calculations.
In addition, I have a few other tips that you should keep in mind when eating edibles. They go as follows:
- It could take over two hours for the effects of an edible to seep into you. So, that doesn’t mean you should keep eating edibles until you “feel it.” Trust me, if you do this, you won’t feel anything for a long, long time (in a bad way).
- If you eat regular food after you’ve eaten an edible, you’ll actually speed up the process of getting high. So, instead of constantly eating those edibles in hopes that you’ll get high quicker, just eat regular food right away. It’ll do the trick.
- If you’ve been known to experience anxiety when getting high in the past, look for edible products with both THC and CBD in them. CBD will calm those mind-racing thoughts, therefore lessening your anxiety and/or paranoia.
- If the results of the quiz happen to not get you high, increase your THC consumption by 5 milligrams next time you eat an edible. Do this until you’ve reached your desired high effect.
By Jenny Lyn